Bedroom Secrets

Imagine openly engaging about your sex life with complete strangers, well, except for the one common friend that brought us together for this chance encounter. This happened to me last week Wednesday when I had the pleasure of engaging in an interesting conversation with some dope individuals at the Wits Matrix. Let it be known that only one guy (i.e. common friend) had the privilege of hearing and witnessing this conversation amongst us women, who were strangers to each other as we shared our experiences. He loved it so much he insisted I write a piece on it. Fortunately for him I thought there are invaluable lessons to be learnt and shared about bedroom secrets that I felt compelled to share.

Same WhatsApp group

Ladies and gents, let’s not lie to ourselves we’ve all had “those” conversations with close friends about previous and present sexual experiences. The sexual experiences that will have you creating code words like SODA, aka Stay Off/On the Dick Association, so that everyone is aware to the topic at hand. We share and learn from each other about masturbation, different positions, orgasms, different penis sizes, blowjobs, anal sex, etc. Basically, all the sex lessons they forgot to teach us at school. Shit we should be freely engaging in since it’s important we speak about these things. It teaches us more about ourselves. However, I will focus on the one topic that we were most passionate about, size.

Size does matter

Whoever said size doesn’t matter wasn’t referring to penis sizes. I never used to believe size truly mattered until personal experience taught me what it means to experience various sizes. For the sake of the conversation I’ll be focusing on two sizes, small and big.

It’s very rare to hear a woman say she climaxed from a small penis. Often, a woman is more likely to tell you how the guy tried to overcompensate for his small size. The easiest way to know when a guy is trying to overcompensate is when he does more than what’s necessary at the start of the courtship. Personally, my small penis experience didn’t stem from him trying to overcompensate, he just didn’t know of his lack of endowment. More than that I never climaxed with him. I decided when I was seeing this guy that I would look past his penis size because an orgasm wasn’t important in the bigger picture of the relationship. I reached this conclusion because my self-esteem was so low that I didn’t feel worthy to receive the pleasure and beauty of a climax. One of the ladies said when she sees a small penis she immediately says she’s sick or needs to leave as something important has come up. Why? She says the minute she accepts a small penis she exposes herself to getting into a cycle. She believes energies attract what they subconsciously accept to be right for them, which is something I completely agree with. A SODA meeting rarely occurs for small dicks – it’s not easy talking about something that isn’t making you happy. However, if you are getting all the sexual satisfaction from your small dick then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, girl get yours.

Then there’s the big penis. I mean the way we know as girls, that one of our girl’s is getting it from a big penis, is when she keeps losing weight but stays glowing. Unless of course she has said that she’s on a diet then that’s a different topic all together. But best believe when she’s constantly over at the guy’s place or he’s at her place then the obvious answer is she’s getting some of that big dick. Look as ladies we agreed that every woman should experience a big dick at least once in their lifetime. Even if that means you end up being the one using your petrol to always get to his spot because you just need that happy ending for the day.

There is no shame in giving and receiving what you want sexually. Allowing yourself to be defiant in what it is you want and expect from the bedroom creates a more heightened and deeper connection to be exchanged. Why? Because both of you are honest about what makes you happy sexually. Plus, who doesn’t love the feeling of climaxing then just letting go? That shit is important in life.

Being you

Truth is sex is as much an important part of our lives just like our emotions and everything else that makes us human. However, sex is often seen as taboo and is rarely spoken about in relation to how it actually affects our decisions. When one truly thinks about it we are driven by various things to either remain a virgin, celibate or hoe around. Each is an expression of our deepest convictions and ideas of who we think we are. Whether we always know or want to accept it at the time.

Thing is sexual intercourse is the one time you are at your most vulnerable so why spend that intimate moment wasted on not being you? It’s the one time you are free to receive and give by just being honest, being you.

Love and Happiness,



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